Not Worth Living
by TalithaTheHun
Summary: Helga's life comes to a screeching halt, and she can't handle it. Is she doomed to live in a world where she has no one she loves or who loves her, and is her life worth living any longer? She doesn't think so.
1. Flashback

Not Worth Living  
  
Helga sat on the school bus, a pale look on her face. She didn't want to go home, yet she couldn't go anywhere else. No one would comfort her, no one would make her feel better- accept for Phoebe.  
  
Helga thought of her loving friend who had always been there for her, who had made her cheery in times of sorrow, who had been her only friend.  
  
The bus stopped, and Helga walked off, not caring where she went, not caring at all. She needed to be alone, to visit her friend. Helga walked towards the grave yard.  
  
It had been one year today since Phoebe had perished. Perished forever into an endless void of darkness, no longer to be heard, no longer to be seen, no longer in existence.  
  
Helga walked up to the church, it's large yard full of graves, of souls gone.  
  
She opened the old creaky gate, and walked inside. She found her friend's grave. A small jar full of dead flowers, that were never tended to, never remembered, sat on the grave stone, meek, and lonely.  
  
Helga remembered when she first got the news that her friend was dying.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
Helga sat waiting for her best friend, Phoebe, to come with her lunch so they could eat. Even though it looked like a rocky relationship to everyone else, they were closer than Arnold and Gerald. Helga never ate without Phoebe, and vice versa (spell check, if anyone's there). She glanced over to her friend as she sauntered up, and sat down slowly. Helga raised an eyebrow (a/n: they're in the eighth grade, and Helga plucked her eyebrow)when she noticed Phoebe's solemn attitude.  
  
"Hey Pheebs, why so glum?" she asked, concerned for her best friend.  
  
Phoebe looked up at Helga, grief evident in her almond eyes. "Helga, I-I need to tell you something..." she said, looking deep into Helga's eyes. Helga felt even more concerned with that, and nodded her head. Phoebe sighed shakily, and looked down at the table. "I know it's going to be hard to believe, b-but... I have... brain cancer." she said, and Helga was taken aback. Had she heard what she thought she heard?  
  
"What?" she asked softly, and Phoebe nodded her head, slowly looking up at Helga, with a dampness in her eyes. Helga's eyes began to gain that same dampness, but she tried her best to hold it back. "What are talking about? You have brain cancer?  
  
You can't! I-I mean, if you do, is it so far along th-that..." she trailed off as Phoebe silently nodded her head. Helga refused to believe her. "No, promise me! Promise me that you won't, Pheebs! You won't die! You won't!" she pleaded, but at first got no answer. "Please promise me, Pheebs." she begged, and Phoebe laughed almost hysterically. Helga gave Phoebe a seriously melancholy/begging look.  
  
Phoebe stopped, and looked at Helga with the same look, only without the begging. "I'm sorry, Helga, but I can't promise, because I only have a certain amount of time. It will be a month, exactly, before I expire. I can't promise you, because it is already set to happen." she stated, tears running down her smooth cheek. Helga was still refusing to believe a word of it.  
  
"No, Phoebe! You have to promise me!!" she shouted, getting many looks from other students in the lunchroom. Even a glance from the older kids, but not a long glance. Most of the looks were from kids from their classes. "Promise me you'll stay alive! Please, promise me!" she cried, tears finally coming through. All of the others from their class gasped, and looked at Phoebe, who was looking at the table.  
  
"Ok, Helga. But don't say that I didn't warn you that I can't keep that promise." she said, and Helga calmed back down. Deep inside, Helga believed it, and was scared. She didn't know what she would do if Phoebe were to ever decease, because she loved Phoebe like a sister. She was the only one that actually cared about Helga. The rest of the lunch period was silence for the two girls. All around was chatter about Phoebe's condition.  
  
Three weeks passed, and Helga found the symptoms more easily. Come to find out, Phoebe had it for quite a while now, and the symptoms were happening often, but Helga had never noticed. Phoebe was sent home for vomiting in the middle of class, she fell asleep in their math class, she fell down from dizziness in the hall and from numbness and weakness in her legs (Phoebe told Helga why she fell each time), when some kind of joke was told Phoebe laughed hysterically or she became hysterical while watching horror movies, she spoke differently, sometimes would act one way then sometimes act another completely different (that sounds like mood swings), forgot quite a lot of the answers to questions, and got headaches regularly, that started in the morning, then went into the evening to lead to nausea.  
  
Phoebe sat next to Helga on the bus, staring off into space, most likely thinking about her condition. Helga glanced at her best friend, and sighed. "Phoebe, what are you doing?" she asked, and Phoebe jumped, looking to Helga.  
  
"Huh?" Phoebe answered, and Helga repeated the question. "Oh, nothing, Helga. Just space staring, that's all." she sighed, and looked out the window. "Thinking about deceasing. You know, I only have a week left to stay here. Yep, that's all, a week. I'll try and fulfil the promise I made, but I'm doubtlessly sure that I can't." she looked back to Helga, who was looking down at her shoes. She really had been thinking about what would happen in a week for the past three weeks. She knew it would happen, but she kept telling herself that it wouldn't.  
  
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*  
  
A week later Helga got a call. She sat up in bed, worried about what it could possibly be. She shakily reached for her phone, and then brought it up to her ear. "H-hello?" she asked, her hands shaking so bad it looked like she was sitting on an iceberg. 


	2. Finale

"Hello, Helga, this is Mrs. Hyerdaul. I am calling to tell you.. that..that...Phoebe died last night." Mrs. Hyerdaul said as she cried.  
  
Helga was speechless, she couldn't move, her heart beat slowed, and she passed out. Mrs. Hyerdaul hung up.  
  
%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@%@  
  
When Helga awoke her eyes were blurry, and she couldnt remember what had caused her to pass out....then she remembered. Phoebe had finally expired, just like she said she would.  
  
Helga sat there, but you couldn't tell she was even really in that world, she seemed lost, alone, and afraid.  
  
Helga stood up, and walked down the stairs, and out of her house.  
  
She was going to Phoebe's house. Mrs. Hyerdaul let her in, and Helga walked to Phoebe's room.  
  
She sat down on Phoebe's bed and stared, stared at all that once belonged to an angel.  
  
Her name was Phoebe.  
  
Helga looked over at her friends bed table, and saw a note. She looked a little closer to find that her name was neatly printed in Phoebe's beautiful writing on the envelope.  
  
She picked it up, and opened it.  
  
It read:  
  
Dear, beloved Helga,  
  
I'm sorry, I cant keep my promise to you. I am in the hospital as I write this. The doctor says I am going to die, tonight.  
  
Don't feel to bad for me, it's for the best. Would you rather that my brain would dissolve, bit by bit, day after day?  
  
I hope not. I just wanted to tell you that, even in heaven, I will always remember you, never forget me either. And just remember, no matter what, I will still be watching over you, your guardian angel.  
  
Love with all my heart,  
  
Your best friend 4 EVER,  
  
Pheebs  
  
~ End of Flashback~  
  
Helga would remember that day for the rest of her life. It would haunt her. As she sat there, thinking of all the great things Phoebe had done, of how nice, sweet, angelic she was, she finally made her decision.  
  
Helga walked home, hanging her head, and pondering what she would do.  
  
*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*  
  
The next few days at school Helga thought and thought about what to do to make herself feel better. She couldn't think of anything.  
  
@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$@$  
  
A few weeks later, she thought of what to do. No one else would care anyway! She was going..to kill herself. She didnt know how just yet, but she was going to.  
  
Then atleast she would be with Phoebe.  
  
Helga walked up to her room, no one else was home. She was carrying a bottle of some kind of pills.  
  
When she entered her room she sat down on her bed, opened the bottle, took out several pills, and swollowed them.  
  
Everything began to get drowsy, her eyes blurred, her head ached. She could hear her heart beating...and then...it stopped.  
  
She had succeeded, her task completed, she was now going to see her friend again.  
  
Everything was dark..then a sudden brightness came from what looked like a door, a door to eternal light, to heaven.  
  
And there, waiting at that door, was Phoebe, beloved Phoebe, dressed in a white robe. Helga stepped throught the door, and vanished, never seen again.  
  
&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^&^  
  
After Helga killed herself, Arnold discovered he really did have feelings for her, and never married.  
  
Her parents were sad, but they kept on going just as if she were still there.  
  
And up in heaven, Helga watched over them all, her pal Pheeb's by her side, and whenever one of them was in need, they thought they could hear her voice, helping them along, guiding them.  
  
The End 


End file.
